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Attention as love

author: Aya Adra

tags: Neuroscience, Psychology

At Lifeverse, we think about attention constantly. We are a group of experts with different degrees and experiences, collectively fixated on this concept: What is attention exactly? How do we define it? How do we measure it? How do we quantify it? Can we protect it? Increase it? Share it with the world? We are scientists after all, and good scientists ask good (and oh so many) questions.

This week, though, through the many conversations I had with our engineers, educators, researchers, and thinkers, through the examples they gave and the thought experiments they casually sprung up, this little poetic idea kept coming back to me: Attention, beyond academic papers, brain markers, machine learning models, and complex conceptual boundaries (more on those in other posts!), ultimately is love – love we may give to ourselves, and love we may give to others.

What happens when we carve out the conditions for ourselves to be fully attentive? When we create an environment that allows complete immersion, concentration, flow? Suddenly, food is tastier, colors more intense, and music more captivating. Suddenly, our mind can do its impressive gymnastics in peace, those it is usually craving, but too overwhelmed to perform: we relate concepts, solve problems, understand mysteries. This is akin to the logic of meditation; of being present, of being aware. It is akin to ideas of self-love; not the commercial, consumerist ideas of loving oneself by purchasing products; but a deeper self-love; one that rests on attending, even if briefly, totally and without distraction, to our own thoughts, our own reflections, to our own internal theatre. The French philosopher, Alain Badiou, in one of my favorite quotes of his, likens the feeling of being happy in love to the “almost supernatural joy you experience when you at last grasp in depth the meaning of a scientific theory.” I am increasingly convinced that only by giving ourselves true attention, can we experience this (self-)love, and can we experience this supernatural joy.

 

The logic extends, I believe, to the love we give to others. What is the common denominator between a parent patiently listening to their child’s ramblings, a friend rushing to your house with ice cream and the promise of a long conversation when you have had a bad week, and a romantic partner asking you to tell them about your day, patiently and kindly? Attention – the parent, the friend, and the partner, in immensely different ways but with the same underlying commitment, are choosing to give you their full and undivided attention. Is there a way to give others love, without this cognitive prerequisite? Without this effortful act of shutting out distractions and centring the ones we care about? As if the world around them blurs and they are, in that moment, the only relevant recipient of our senses, our focus, our being? I am also increasingly convinced that the answer is no, that only by giving others true attention, can we give them love.

So, as I go back to technical definitions, physiological correlates, and algorithmic specifications, I hope I can remember, and I hope you will agree with me, that to be in the business of exploring attention, is to be in the quest for the human capacity to love: to love ourselves, and to love others.

Every week, we will post a short blog relating to the concept of attention, the latest scientific developments around it, or our updates about our own progress here at Lifeverse!

If you have an interesting idea that relates to attention, or if you do research on attentional processes and would like your work to be featured on our blog, please reach out - we are always happy to collaborate with brilliant minds from across fields and disciplines!

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If you have an interesting idea that relates to attention, or if you do research on attentional processes and would like your work to be featured on our blog, please reach out - we are always happy to collaborate with brilliant minds from across fields and disciplines!

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Every week, we will post a short blog relating to the concept of attention, the latest scientific developments around it, or our updates about our own progress here at Lifeverse!

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